PDA is not okay

Okay, so the title to this is a bit misleading.  PDA is cool - totally fine - in some situations, and as long as it isn't a constant thing.  Getting a kiss in public, or seeing people hold hands, or even a quick ass pat or boob grope isn't a problem in the right situation. 

What's the right situation?  Well, I don't have a problem with children seeing two adults touching or kissing in public.  Course, there are limits to that - a full on blow job in public is never going to be okay around children, and blatant dry humping against a fence isn't okay either.  But I don't think it's bad for children to see a couple kissing or holding hands - kids should know that adults are people too, and it's great that they see good, quality relationships among real adults.   

Lots of people are totally against PDA.  Once I turned about 16, I started hating it too -  it seemed petty and gross to me, and I hated imagining what people were doing in private if they were doing that in public.  Maybe that's just me at 16, sex on the brain, but I think that's quite common among that age.  Don't get me wrong, I still did it, I just hated watching other people doing it.  As I've gotten older (and with my birthday coming up very soon - 4 sleeps! - I seriously feel ancient right now), I've sort of changed my mind about it.  There's something cute about seeing the little old lady and her husband of 40 years with hairy ears sitting on a park bench kissing, and seeing a couple pushing a pram together  holding hands almost makes me think that my life wouldn't be totally over if I were to procreate.

So what's my issue with PDA then if I actively engage in it and seeing other people do it makes me mooshy inside?  Well, some people just take it too far.  Take this couple, for example:

On first glance it's super cute.  Awww, look, the guy is totally into her, he's pulling her close and being all romantic and stuff.  Then we look a little bit closer.  Yes, that it a boob grab at the same time.  Well, that's cool.  Maybe they're in their own backyard, or somewhere private?  Nope, they're at Wellington Zoo, on a Saturday.  You know, with all the kids around.  

Okay, so that's not so bad.  Maybe no one's watching (except the super creepy photographer, of course) and maybe he just copped a quick feel.   Maybe it's their anniversary, or something.  Maybe.  Well, you know, it's not.  This is actually about hour number 3 at the zoo.  Hour number 3 of making everyone slightly uncomfortable with their gross touching and kissing and fondling (and I don't use that word lightly, believe me!).  Okay, maybe it wasn't quite as bad as you're imagining, but it was pretty terrible.  In her own words, girly in this picture actually said at some point during the day "I'm surprised we haven't been kicked out yet"*

So when is PDA okay?  When it's infrequent, used sparingly, and not disgustingly disturbuing for everyone within a 50m radius.  It's okay if you're doing it for you, and not for the purposes of making everyone uncomfortable (still not convinced they didn't do it just to make us all cringe, which was remarkably successful if that was the case).  The general rule of thumb is, if you saw your parents doing what you're doing in public, would it make you vom in your mouth?  If the answer is yes, for love of god (yes, with a baby g, because we know he's made up), STOP.

* It is possible she was talking about me at this point, but we'll pretend otherwise as there are no incrimiating photos of me on the internet right now!